Reflections

Loving life (and the birthday pinata my husband bought per my wish.)

It's been an interesting summer so far.  Not exactly what I thought it would be, but full of fun and adventure nonetheless.  I was gone for nearly half of the days in July, right when my garden decided to take off.  The string beans and cherries and gooseberries waited for no one so it's felt a bit stressful to keep everything picked and pruned.  Only a few days have been slow-paced like we expected, but we'll take any that we can get.  I've hardly done any preserving for myself since I've had a private preserving gig with a client a couple of counties north.  And I've only been to a handful of local farmers' markets let alone our own neighborhood market just 1 1/2 blocks away.

BUT I've been perfectly happy this summer despite our days going a little more wildly or quickly than planned. I've spent a good amount of time with close friends, I got to see my parents and spend time with Ben's extended family, V and I have shared so many adventures and learned new things (violin, ballet), and I have had a decent amount of personal time.

Today is my 35th birthday. It's somewhat significant to me because it's the youngest age I remember my parents being. According to my doctor "now you're finally an adult!" I've been celebrating "birthday month" since mid-July instead of just consolidating the fun to one day. And I'm already thinking of all the adventures I want in my next year.

I've been reflecting lately on the last decade or so, at least--the time I've been in Milwaukee. And thinking about all my self-discoveries. Most recently--like within the last week when my husband and I got some "us time" and since I read this little tidbit--I have finally realized and am beginning to understand/accept that I am truly an introvert. This revelation is probably something  my closest friends and family have known for years, but it's taken me longer to recognize it. And now that I have, so much makes sense in my life. It's like someone handed me a shining platter and said "THIS!" as if the meaning of life was written all over it. I could take this new information and do one of two things:

1) Use it as an excuse to crawl further into the little hole that I sometimes retreat to
2) Keep doing what I'm doing, but stop feeling guilty when I can't cultivate every new friendship, follow through on every "yeah, let's get together sometime" that is uttered, and attend every social event to which I'm invited.

I think I'll choose option 2. It'll continue to be just as challenging for me to get out into the community--especially to participate in all the community-building and urban homesteading activities to which I subscribe. But I have to do it at my pace and without creating a lot of extra anxiety for myself.

On that note, I'm considering how I want this blog to continue.  As I've previously noted, it's been a challenge this summer to balance living life and writing about living life.  Perhaps I need to narrow my focus here so I don't feel pressure to choose between the two.  I hope to keep all of my loyal followers, but perhaps you will allow me a grace period so I can regroup.

Thanks and Happy Birthday to me.