The Calm Before the Storm

Early Fall calm

Was walking home from school drop-off this morning with a neighbor/friend and we established that these next few weeks could be the "calm before the storm."  Even though our little family has pared way back on the holiday craziness of shopping, gifts, decorations, hosting parties throughout the month there is still much unavoidable busy-ness.  Even if we choose to take the upcoming season more slowly,  it doesn't mean everyone else will. There are still plenty of obligations to attend events, concerts, parties, and other celebrations.  And we look forward to doing so, but will have to do our best to rest and breathe deeply in these weeks leading up to it all.

Yesterday was a wonderful slow, quiet, and somewhat spontaneous day with my daughter.  It is rare that I can put all those words together when describing how she and I spend our time with each other Since I've started working before the crack of dawn on the two days I work outside of the home I've found that I hit a wall early in the afternoon.  Therefore I try not to schedule much on those afternoons.  Yesterday after an appointment following mid-day school pickup we ran an errand then found ourselves lingering in a used book store in our neighborhood, hanging out at a local coffee shop reading books and sipping "warm chocolate," running into friends/ neighbors and spending time catching up with them.  The only thing pressing was my parking meter outside.

Although my daughter rarely takes naps anymore we try our best to have "rest time" in the afternoon.  When quiet time in her room didn't work out I pulled a new trick out of my bag.  I'd been referred to them a few times before, but finally tried yesterday after a push from a friend last week--Sparkle Stories!  (There are currently a whole bunch of free Halloween stories one can download.)  V has long loved being read to, paging through books by herself, following a short audio book at home, and listening to some longer audio chapter books on long cars ride lately.  But Sparkle Stories are a little different in that she's encouraged to sit still--not going anywhere like in the car when one can look out the window, not futz with anything, and just picture the story in her head.  She sat for more than 45 minutes yesterday curled up on the couch just listening to a story.  I took the opportunity to curl up next to her and read a library book I'd just picked up.  It was beautiful.  So quiet, so still except for the steady rhythm of her breath from across the couch.  When she finished I asked her some questions about her story.  I can only hope this will continue to improve both her listening skills and imagination.  And it will most certainly give me a chance to regularly read and be still--I find that if I'm home alone with an opportunity to read I get easily distracted and am up and down a lot.  Yesterday I felt more compelled to be still myself.

Time together in nature

After our mom-daught story-time we both felt an amazing calm.  It lead right into making dinner together, which she's been asking me about more recently.  Actually, I believe the question was "how come you always have to make dinner every night all by yourself?"  I explained that A) I don't HAVE TO make dinner--I do it because I love my family and B) I would love to have some company.  We worked together on a recipe I'd come across last week and had in my queue after hearing many rave reviews about the "cauliflower pizza crust."  Bacon Cauliflower Cheese Sticks--they were fantastic!  Not only a great way get more crucifers into my little one's belly, but the closest to a "healthy" version of the "original cheesestix" we so frequently gorged on in college.  To make this cheese-laden meal a bit healthier we added a salad, which V made entirely by herself: cutting/tearing, washing, spinning the lettuce, cutting the carrots, green peppers, and black olives to garnish is.  I was full of joy the whole time she was helping me.  Perhaps it was the great day we'd had already together which added to her willingness to help or maybe we've hit a certain point in her four-ness where she's much more interested and competent.  I'm willing to deal with the extra mess if it means she can start learning to cook at a young age.  I told her maybe in a couple of years she can make a whole meal herself (a la Free-Range Kids).  One of the best parts of our joint efforts in making dinner last night is that I was able to work on cleaning as we went while she prepped.  We had the dishes cleaned up more quickly afterwards and had time to all snuggle up and watch It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown on this Halloween week.

Hoping for many more of these kinds of slow days very soon.  And hoping we can make them last well into the busy holiday season that will soon be upon us.

Returning

I'm back!  (Let's see if I remember how to do this.)

I've had just over a 2-month lapse in posting.  Where have I been?  Did I fall off the face of the Earth?  Not quite.  What have I been doing?  Lots.

As I alluded to in my previous post I've been juggling various aspects of life: parenting, gardening, preparing healthy food, travel, freelance work, friend time, and me time.  The summer was loaded with fun and also a lot of work.  I just didn't find time to keep all the balls in the air AND journal about it.

The biggest (as in, most time consuming) thing that happened this summer was that I spent (and continue to spend...as the growing season goes on) hours and hours at a private preserving gig for a client who has a 17th century hobby farm in Ozaukee County.  I was fortunate to spend time every couple of weeks at this Monticello-like homestead harvesting vegetables, checking in with the livestock (doves, hens, bees, geese), and enjoying the beauty of the place then bringing all the produce home to preserve for him. (Getting to work out of my own kitchen is fantastic.)  So I've been doing a TON of preserving this year, but just not for myself.  I'm still managing to put up the bare essentials: jams, tomato puree, dilly beans, applesauce but come winter I'm sure we'll be missing the plethora of home-canned options in our pantry.

We also spent loads of time this summer doing fun things like concerts in the park, the zoo, playgrounds, bike rides, and other outdoor activities.  My daughter took up violin lessons and ballet so that's been on our regular schedule.

Where do I stand right now? At this point in time my urban homestead is looking sorely neglected.  It was an amazing year for fruit and we picked and put up lots of cherries and blackberries, but I was never able to stake my tomatoes, keep up with picking beans, manage the deadheading of flowers, or eat all the greens in our garden before they bolted.  When I planned/planted my garden last spring I had no idea how much time this incredible freelance opportunity would require so I powered ahead and ordered seeds, started seeds, planted seedlings, planted, planted, planted.  It's been more than I could handle and at this point I welcome colder weather when I can put it to rest.  As far as I can tell I'll be doing this freelance work again next year (it's proven be be very flexible and sustainable) so I will have to scale back on things at the homestead.  But at least it offers me a starting point.  I've been reigned in and I'm okay with that.

I'm continually asking myself  "where do I go from here?"  Along with the aforementioned activities I've been having fun giving our daughter all sorts of experiences.  We love to go to musical events and theatre together and that plan continues well into next spring.  I've also been trying my best to keep up with world events and politics and industry trends and parenting ideas and since we got rid of our TV in June I've had to find other avenues for doing so (never so thankful for PBS live streaming online and other remarkable news sources/blogs.)  I've settled into a good groove and am now devouring information as fast as I can.  I feel more in tune to the world than I have in 10 years.  But that also takes time.

I've given myself plenty of guilt the past couple of months for not living up to the standards and goals I originally outlined for myself (and it's taken a lot of admit that.)  But I like where I am right now in terms of family time, experiences, my opportunities to cook/preserve, the time I have with friends, and me time so I'll go with it.

This summer was incredibly pivotal in that regard.  I began to identify the shape I want my life to take.  I continue to consider how and where my blog will go, but in time I know I'll figure that out too.

I certainly haven't abandoned any ideas and values I hold about sustainability, but that's just it.  I have to make this all sustainable for it to grow and thrive.  We're at a stage in our daughter's life, as parents, in our "careers," where the universe is telling us that this shift (even temporarily) is okay.

Some day soon I may get back to posting recipes and photos and gardening/homesteading ideas, but for now I am taking a small step back and breathing and shifting gears a bit.  If nothing else, just to see what it feels like.  I figure as long as I can still do that while cooking healthy food for my family and satisfying my needs for growing things and crafting a little every now and then, I'm okay.

It's a process.

Reflections

Loving life (and the birthday pinata my husband bought per my wish.)

It's been an interesting summer so far.  Not exactly what I thought it would be, but full of fun and adventure nonetheless.  I was gone for nearly half of the days in July, right when my garden decided to take off.  The string beans and cherries and gooseberries waited for no one so it's felt a bit stressful to keep everything picked and pruned.  Only a few days have been slow-paced like we expected, but we'll take any that we can get.  I've hardly done any preserving for myself since I've had a private preserving gig with a client a couple of counties north.  And I've only been to a handful of local farmers' markets let alone our own neighborhood market just 1 1/2 blocks away.

BUT I've been perfectly happy this summer despite our days going a little more wildly or quickly than planned. I've spent a good amount of time with close friends, I got to see my parents and spend time with Ben's extended family, V and I have shared so many adventures and learned new things (violin, ballet), and I have had a decent amount of personal time.

Today is my 35th birthday. It's somewhat significant to me because it's the youngest age I remember my parents being. According to my doctor "now you're finally an adult!" I've been celebrating "birthday month" since mid-July instead of just consolidating the fun to one day. And I'm already thinking of all the adventures I want in my next year.

I've been reflecting lately on the last decade or so, at least--the time I've been in Milwaukee. And thinking about all my self-discoveries. Most recently--like within the last week when my husband and I got some "us time" and since I read this little tidbit--I have finally realized and am beginning to understand/accept that I am truly an introvert. This revelation is probably something  my closest friends and family have known for years, but it's taken me longer to recognize it. And now that I have, so much makes sense in my life. It's like someone handed me a shining platter and said "THIS!" as if the meaning of life was written all over it. I could take this new information and do one of two things:

1) Use it as an excuse to crawl further into the little hole that I sometimes retreat to
2) Keep doing what I'm doing, but stop feeling guilty when I can't cultivate every new friendship, follow through on every "yeah, let's get together sometime" that is uttered, and attend every social event to which I'm invited.

I think I'll choose option 2. It'll continue to be just as challenging for me to get out into the community--especially to participate in all the community-building and urban homesteading activities to which I subscribe. But I have to do it at my pace and without creating a lot of extra anxiety for myself.

On that note, I'm considering how I want this blog to continue.  As I've previously noted, it's been a challenge this summer to balance living life and writing about living life.  Perhaps I need to narrow my focus here so I don't feel pressure to choose between the two.  I hope to keep all of my loyal followers, but perhaps you will allow me a grace period so I can regroup.

Thanks and Happy Birthday to me.

Batteries Recharged

Back from the longest vacation we've taken in years, feeling fully recharged.  And, with the help of many, we're up and running at about 90% by now while still enjoying the effects of our break.

We went to Boston and Cape Cod as we try to do every couple of years to visit Ben's extended family.  It was V's first time exploring one of my favorite cities and we found a great balance of adult/kid-friendly activities, touristy/off-the-beaten path tours and sites.  Here's the very tip of the iceberg in photo summary:

Our guest house on the border of Boston's Back
Bay and South End

V at the "Make Way For Ducklings" bronze

Swan Boats

Gorgeous windowboxes on Beacon St.

Beautiful Beacon Hill brownstones

The Carousel at the Frog Pond in Boston Common.  V caught the last ride
and was filled with pure joy.

Dipping our toes at Copley Square

Historic brownstones in our neighborhood

Community garden plots everywhere

Super cool idea for a cuke trellis.

My favorite community garden (Part 1)

Community Garden (Part 2)

Cambridge bookstore

Taza Chocolate factory tour in Somerville

I highly recommend this $5 tour.

Making organic stone-ground chocolate in the traditional Mexican way

Dosa Factory for lunch and shopping

Downtown Crossing old and new architecture

Jellies at the New England Aquarium 

Already planning our next trip 

A North End classic, now with gluten-free options

Paul Revere and the North Church

Public Transit

Greenway over the Big Dig, our first time enjoying it

Lavender and Sedum

Amazing Church of Christ Scientist 

With just two days to show V the city, this was the way to go

And something for Ben to enjoy as well

On to the Cape and the Wellfleet Mass Audubon

Salt Marsh Exploration at Wellfleet Mass
Audubon, V found a horseshoe crab on her
first try

Girl in a puddle

Razor clam shell

Natural art on the beach

Skate egg case

Beautiful shells

Heaven

Juniper

Beautiful beach day at Corn Hill (bay side), Truro

Sitting in the surf

Wine Tasting

Gorgeous beach at dusk

Beautiful sunsets

Our oyster shucker in the 4th of July
parade handing out fresh Wellfleets

Free-for-all fireworks on the 4th

Provincelands Dune Tour

Fresh Stripah (the guys caught about 12 lbs. of Striped Bass to fill
the freezer for a while)

Horesehead and Harbor Seals at Monomoy Island

Cockle shells on the beach

Lawbstah, Steamahs, and fried clam strips

Longnook Beach (oceanside), Ben's favorite

One last beautiful sunset with Provincetown and Pilgrim Monument in
the distance.

I've found some time to reflect lately and am thinking about where my blog is going.  It's been a challenge finding time to enjoy life while documenting it here.  Stay tuned, but I may be posting slightly less this summer (I know, just when peak local food time begins.)